1. “What do you like to make?”

MONEY. We like to make MONEY. Pick a drink.

2. “I don’t like the taste of alcohol. I don’t want anything fruity. I don’t like beer. I’m allergic to wine. What do you suggest?”

Water. They sell it by the bottle at the gas station. Go outside, to the left, and keep walking.

3. “Do you have an iPhone 5 charger? Do you have an outlet close to me? Will you plug it in? Can I check it? Can I check it again? Can I check my phone? Did my phone go off? What’s my percentage?”

STOP with the phone babysitting. Bring your own charger if it’s that important. Nobody behind the bar is asking to borrow your shit. Also, meet a hookup old school. In person. Stop it with the dating apps if you’re so worried about wasting your phone’s battery.

Read the rest HERE.